Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult things to experience, especially if you were together for many years. Together, you have gone through so many experiences of joy, pain, loss, and grief that it seems impossible to go through this grief alone. However, it is not impossible if you allow yourself the time to work through it.

The first step in working through your grief is to accept your loss as reality. Shock and numbness might keep you from accepting the loss or feeling anything for a while. You might accept the loss intellectually, but emotionally, you go about your daily duties like a robot, unable to cry or feel the pain. The shock and numbness will wear off as you work on other steps of grieving, accepting the fact that death is every person's destiny at their own time. Start learning to adjust to life without your spouse; revisit places that you and your spouse enjoyed together. You might have guilty feelings that keep tormenting you, things you think you could have done differently. Writing a letter or in a journal to your departed spouse can help you verbalize those feelings and then ask forgiveness and forgive them for the pain they might have caused you. Anger is another step to grieving. You might feel anger toward your departed spouse for leaving you feeling helpless and alone. If they took care of the finances, you can work toward learning how to do this yourself.

Letting go is sometimes the hardest part; the fear of forgetting is one reason for not letting go. If you are afraid of forgetting them, set up a small memorial, such a picture of your spouse and put one or two things that inspire fond memories near the picture.